Grief is sneaky. It winds its way into our soul, often without notice. Oh sure, we recognize grief when a loved one dies. We call it by its name when there is a divorce or a recognizable loss. When this happens, we send thoughtful cards and prop our loved ones up with homemade casseroles delivered to haggard and bewildered faces hiding messes behind half-closed doors. But no one seems to recognize the everyday grief that we are all living with right now. The grief that comes with the loss of our comforts, our habits and the loss of camaraderie of our friends and family.
Friends…. WE. ARE. GRIEVING. Sure, we are grateful that we are safe and well fed (although many of us lack even those basics). We are lonely. We miss the familiarity of our classrooms. Our teachers. Our friends. We miss the predictability of our offices and co-workers. We miss the smiles that we took for granted. We miss eating out at our favorite restaurants and sitting with friends over a cup of coffee or a beer. WE. ARE. GRIEVING. These are losses in a very real sense.
According to Louise Hay, a well-known pioneer on the connection between emotions and the body, grief manifests in the lungs. When we hold grief in and don’t express it, we end up holding our breath. Deep, hearty, healthy breathing is one of the most basic ways to support your physical, mental and emotional health. In a biological sense, breathing oxygenates your blood bringing mental clarity and allowing your cells to produce energy. On an emotional level, deep breathing can help to regulate your stress level, reducing the amount of the stress hormone cortisol that is released into your body. An excessive, chronic high level of cortisol is responsible for a whole host of negative effects in the body from weight gain to anxiety and depression. Just a few minutes of deep breathing scheduled into your day can help alleviate the stress of our current reality. Some of my favorite breathing techniques are listed below:
Box Breathing:
Close your eyes and imagine a large box in your mind’s eye.
Breathe in as you count to four and mentally draw one line of the square.
Hold your breath as you count to four and mentally draw the next line of the square.
Exhale as you count to four and mentally draw the third line of the square.
Hold your lungs empty as you count to four and mentally draw the fourth line of the square.
Repeat for several cycles.
Note: this should be done while seated or lying down at first. Occasionally, you may feel light headed as you get used to this new technique.
Belly Breathing:
Lay flat on your back or sit up straight and tall in a chair.
Place your hands on your belly button.
Take deep breaths in, feeling your belly rise as the air fills your lungs.
Hold your breath for a four count to start (you can increase this as you become more comfortable)
Exhale for a four count.
Repeat your Belly Breathing for 3-5 minutes to start.