Tonight, I held my 10 year old daughter as she sobbed in my arms. Her long legs and strong arms wrapped around me as she sunk into me, slowly deflating from the pressures of the day.
As I held her, my mind went back to a dark parking lot, years ago. I paced, flashlight in hand, willing my contractions to keep coming and not to stall. I paced in that dark hospital parking lot for a long time, waiting to be sure that she was truly ready to be born. She was a little overdue and I was more than ready to be done being pregnant. Eventually, we went in and the nurses checked me in, checked me out and promptly announced that I was not ready to have a baby and that I should check out and go home. #thinkagain
I swear, this girl must have heard that challenge deep in her watery cocoon because within minutes, my water broke and within a couple of hours, my fiery little girl was indignantly howling in my arms.
It’s amazing how different each child is. From the first moment of her life, she burned hotter and projected more energy than anyone I have ever met. She is a fighter. She is a leader. She is a righter of wrongs and a champion of the underdog. She sees a challenge in all things and frankly, sometimes she exhausts me. #truth
Today, she let me hold her as she released some of her tension. Today, she breathed deeply and cried cathartically with me. Today we prayed together because I need her to know that God made her this way. I need her to know that her path may not be easy but it is right…for her. We prayed to release and banish the judgements of other people and the pallor they cast over her days. I am profoundly grateful to be here. To bear witness to her unfolding. To have tools to help her release emotions before they become chronic and debilitating. Tonight, she sleeps, hopefully more at peace than she was a few hours ago. This child of fire and thunder and hunger may be the death of me…but what a way to go.